can't wait...

...for hot chocolate on snowy evenings...

www.postsecret.com

Debate

Always... there is always a debate going on in my mind... What to do when I grow up? What to be? Career? I've been doing retail now for 7 years... That kind of goes past the "just a job" thing when it's lasted that long...

I like my job. I don't wake up dreading going to work. However, I don't want to do this forever. I don't want to work retail forever. The only way to make money in retail is to let the job consume you. I have a beautiful life outside of work, and I don't care to lose that by working 50+ hours earning money for a big company.

The company I work for is small right now, but it's growing. At least 6 new stores in the next year, they're saying. That would double the size of it from when I started working there. Give it time and I'll either be forced to be a number, or I'll be forced into management and being absorbed by the company.

I'm never happy at any job for too long. I keep switching companies because I just can't stay still. I just can't stay still because I don't want to be in retail anymore. I'm not talking any sudden moves. I won't be leaving the pet store anytime soon. I assume I'll give them at least a few years... But as I seem to at least once a year I'm craving education. Wanting to go to school...

The problem is... I can never decide what to study... Where would I be going with my education? What exactly do I want to learn?

Imagine...

bring to your mind the person who makes you laugh the most...

now think of the person you had your last intellectual conversation with...

and the person you think of first when you debate going to see a new movie...

the person you go to whenever something upsets you...

and the person you think is the most beautiful person you've ever seen...

combine all those people into one person and you might be able to grasp how I feel about her...

I don't know why I fell in love with a woman twice my age. I'm sure Freud could come up with some psychological reason that would dash all the romance out of our relationship. I don't care to examine it that closely...

I just know that when she raises those lashes to look at me it stops my breath in my throat. She makes me laugh so hard my sides ache. I look forward to every moment I can be with her. I go days without turning on the computer because I'm so absorbed in every moment of my life with her...

Life Is Good.

All I have to say on it...

Thinking about gay marriage makes me want to hit someone, so...

If marriage is a religious thing it has no place in politics to begin with... Heterosexual marriages shouldn't be within the political realm any more than homosexual ones should be... "traditionally" marriage was entirely within a church... We crossed the line between the seperation of church and state long ago...

Gay Rights by ~arad8790 on deviantART

Goodbye my boy...

Goodbyes are hard. I spent all day yesterday saying goodbye to my Puck, my rabbit.

Puck and I have been inseperable since I lived in Rumford. Nearly 7 years now.

Yesterday about half an hour before I left for work I turned to feed the rabbits and I realized he was laying exactly the way he had been the day before when I fed him. His food dish and his litter box completely untouched. I noticed a few weeks ago he was getting thin. To be expected with his age.

I debated taking him to be euthanized, but that seemed foolish. The stress of the drive would be so much for him... So instead I called in to work and he and I laid on the couch all afternoon. He finally passed about 9:30 last night, curled up in bed with me. I felt him leave his body.

I will always love my baby boy. He's been there with me through so much...

Now it's just that heart-breaking empty cage thing...